Dear sexually active peers,

I have found a reoccurring pattern amongst people I have slept with. If I kiss you, that’s okay. If I am allowing you inside of me, that’s okay too.

But. I always ask three questions.”Are you sleeping with anyone else?” “Do you use a condom, if so?” “Have you ever been tested?”

These boys look at me flabbergasted. And it bothers me. Why aren’t you asking your sexual partners these questions? Have you seen that episode of Girls where Hannah gets diagnosed with HPV and Adam says he has been tested for it, so she didn’t get it from him. No guy can ever be tested positive for HPV. They don’t have a test for men.

I just hope, whomever you sleep with, and sleep with all the people you wish, that you take enough precaution to make your health a priority. I shouldn’t be gawked at for bringing it up. It grosses me out that no one else ever asks these things of me.

Be careful, please. Birthcontrol won’t save you from anything and anyone who is under the presumption that they can’t get pregnant- please know you can and you will, when you least expect it. Take it from someone who knows.

Put yourself first.

I know I’m old because I get excited about things like having an excellent credit score and being able to take 30 minute naps. Nothing better than a drool filled nap.